Here I am, getting ready for my CCIE R&S lab in the middle of the night and somehow struck with doubt, confusion and choices.

Choices are that I might be faced with the fact that my job might not require a CCIE certification at all anymore, but having a CCIE is good for the sake of experience in preparing it.

The confusion is: where to start for my CCIE? If I can illustrate my condition, its just like in limbo: I have passed my written exam, I have faced the lab twice, I have the workbook, and yet confused on where to start.

At the same time, I am also in doubt whether I should still go forward to attain my CCIE or not.

There are reasons that I keep telling people why I wanted to become a CCIE, a couple of them are:

• proof that I can be certified in expert level,
• proof that even though the level is called expert, a normal average human being like me can do it,
• future plan if CCIE is needed, then at least I already have it,
• increase in salary (from the perspective of my employer who may honor my effort),
• able to spread the experience, knowledge and guidance to other CCIE candidate,
• I owe myself  to be a CCIE,
• etc ...

Above all reasons, it is all narrowed down to: proof to myself on how I can stretch myself in getting something that I really wanted.

So, what's next to move on?

Make up my mind is obvious step here In my heart and gut feeling, 51% of me still wanted to be a CCIE Its just like a boy hearing a good toy is coming and he is envious to get that toy. The only challenge is: this boy knows that the toy is on the other side of the wall that he has to climb over, make a hole, dig underneatch, or just destroy the wall to get it.

That wall is the CCIE lab, that wall is there for me to remind me that: "hey, you have this challenge setup, how do you plan to get it done?"

I think I got the answer: re-write my process, plan, strategy and do it!

What have I got: written, dynamips (GNS), Internetwork Expert workbook 4.1.

What do I need: practice, practice and practice.

Several steps that I have planned in my mind includes: getting the IE's bootcamp (mostly either DVD or online, depends how frequent I can access either one of those), rack rental, and maybe getting some home lab equipment for light practice.

I'll just need to devise those plan and put it into places, and I must be ready that the plan must be flexible enough for me to take care of next round of lab attempt. I can aim for the next lab to be the 'do-or-die' but I think I will prepare it as just like I want to attend the lab in a readyness just like 'another practice'. Thus, I can still have fun, enjoy and have life as usual.

Note: 'as usual' for me here refers to the usual day of mine: get up, get ready, go to work, go home, practice  and repeat it again.

One last thing: I remember that I can keep myself going by regularly posting to this blog along with my progress or my study happening. That might be the key on why I kept going before.